Sports in 2010: Great Year?

Or Greatest Ever?

From Tiger Woods to Michael Vick, Cameron Newton to Cliff Lee, from Landon Donovan to LeBron James and from the Uconn women to the San Francisco Giants, 2010 was a damn good year in sports. Everyone is calling 2010 the year of the Quarterback and I would agree. But the thing is that it has been so much more than that. It has been the year of the Pitcher and the year of Redemption. The year of the “Decision” and the year of the streak. We were super-saturated with sports this year because of the World Cup and the Winter Olympics. We did not see the greatest moment in sports history this year, but I cannot remember when we saw so many great moments all across the world of sports in one year.  I cannot remember the last time I sat on my couch with my jaw dropped because of what had just seen time and time again. 

There were six no hitters this year in the MLB, and one of them in the playoffs. The San Francisco Giants somehow won the World Series. The Lakers played in their third straight NBA Finals, winning their second in a row. LeBron James' “Decision” pretty much ruined his image. Brett Favre went from the best NFC Championship game, to retired, to coming back and ruining his image and the Vikings season. The amount of amazing stories and moments this year was staggering and to try and choose the 5 best from the year would be impossible, but saying that here goes anyway.  They are mostly football but whatever...football rules.

#5. Michael Vick. What can you say? You know the story. You know about the things he has done. Whoever thought that he would do what he is doing this year? He is playing like himself mixed with Peyton Manning and it is incredible. If you said you saw this coming, you are a dirty, dirty liar.

#4. Kyle Brotzman. Who is he? He is the place kicker for Boise St. I will remember him because of the one game against Nevada. Everyone knows what Boise St. is and whether you love or hate them, they are must see TV. That was an AMAZING game. Tied with under 15 seconds left in the game, Boise's QB Kellen Moore proceeds to throw a 54 yard bomb that somehow gets completed to the Nevada nine yard line, setting up a 26 yard chip shot field goal for one of the best kickers in the country, Kyle Brotzman.......and he missed it. Unbelievable. Then the game goes to OT and he misses a 29 yarder!!! Are you kidding me?? I sat in silence for about thirty minutes rethinking my life. So Boise loses and the rest is history. Amazing.

#3. Brett Favre's interception at the end of the NFC Championship game against the Saints. A microcosm of Favre's career. Nuff said. Un-freaking-believable.

#2. Landon Donovan's goal against Algeria in the last group game to win the group in the World Cup. With the U.S. Men level at zero with Algeria in the last group game in the World Cup and needing a win to advance, Landon Donovan and company went the length of the field with just seconds left and scored the most amazing goal in U.S. Mens Soccer history. Outstanding.

#1. Drew Brees and the Saints. The big deal for me was not the Saints winning the Super Bowl, despite their history, it was Drew Brees and his son after the game. Pictures like that are for what I live.

 

Things that almost made the Top 5:

-Butler University in the NCAA Men's Basketball Championship. If Gordon Heyward's shot would have been a quarter inch to the left against Duke I would have died...that is all.

-UConn Women's Basketball winning streak. Lets face it. If their coach was not crazy I would not care...sorry ladies.

-Tiger Woods' comeback. So polarizing. You hate or love him. He is THE REASON I watch golf.

Now I do not know why we try to organize everything into years and define them as such, even though we cut off half of the NBA season and the playoffs in the NFL, but we do. So was 2010 the greatest year ever in sports? No. Was it in the top 5 in my lifetime? Maybe. All I know is that I would take 2010 over most of the years I have experienced because it seemed that every sport, professional or collegiate, had a plethora of amazing moments.  I am glad that every ball bounced the way it did and every call went the way it did.  I am happy that Heyward missed that shot and I am happy that Peyton Manning threw that interception in the Super Bowl.  Because if those things did not happen, 2010 would not have been as special as it was. 

Albert Einstein says that

Gary Kubiak is Clinically Insane

If I am looking at this situation correctly...and I would like to think that I am...Texans head coach Gary Kubiak is insane. I am tired of harping on this so I will try to keep it short and sweet. I heard something a long time ago and being a quasi-scientist or at least a man of science, this quote has defined me in my life and I think it applies to the football situation we have going on here in Houston. It was a quote from Albert Einstein regarding some experiments and observations and such and he said this, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I am paraphrasing of course because it was probably said in German and of course he was talking about some actual science experiments and why would someone keep the variables of an experiment the same and expect different results...that is crazy.

Now whether you are glad the Texans lost yesterday for draft reasons or you are insulted by the slop they run out on to the field each and every week, Einstein's quote applies here so clearly. In an experiment, there are variables or parameters, some of which you change and some of which you do not in order to probe the system. Here is where the Texans fit. For the last two plus years, the Texans have been a failed experiment. Not because the experiment was a bad idea, but because the person running the experiment is a conducting it all wrong. Gary Kubiak is clearly not a scientist. If he was, then by now he would have changed a variable. He would have done something to try and get the results that he wants out of this experiment. He would have tweaked something, somewhere along the line to make things different. Alas, he has not changed anything. He has ran the same junk out onto the field for the last two years expecting different results. Expecting different things to happen than what always does end up happening...which is the Texans find some spectacular way to lose but it is always close and then coaches, players and fans make a bunch of excuses to why Kubiak is good, bad or ugly or whatever...gouge my eyes out.

So going back to Einstein's insanity theory, I am here to present this idea. Albert Einstein and I believe that Gary Kubiak is clinically insane. And let me tell you, the last thing an insane person needs to be doing is running an NFL franchise...along with any kind of food handling and being a door to door knife salesmen. He is the reason this experiment has failed. He is the problem. He is the kid that repeatedly touches the hot stove over and over again despite the fact that it keeps burning him. Try to imagine what is going on in his head. Honestly, I want you to try to imagine it. Try to comprehend it. It must be euphoric. Being so sure that you changed something when clearly you have not. Being so sure that things will be different even though nothing has changed. Knowing that putting the same thing will yield different results every time. You cannot comprehend it because you are not insane. And if you can see Kubiak's point of view, seek help because you are a danger to yourself and the community.

I am disturbed that none of the thousands of psychologists in this country have noticed that a rabidly insane man is allowed to do what Gary Kubiak is doing. Gary needs to be apprehended and attended to by the right people. Someone please contact the proper authorities before he hurts himself or God forbid...me...

Week 16 Winners

Merry Christmas to Me

OK so we went 1-4 last week. I could be petty and blame the Giants for giving away a 21 point lead with eight minutes left in the fourth quarter. I could also blame the Texans for pretty much giving up and fighting each other during the game against the Titans. And finally I could blame the Cowboys “defense” who let Rex Grossman...who??? come back and tie the game!! Are you kidding me!!! Rex freaking Grossman!!! I could sit here and blame them, but I will not do that. We went 1-4 last week making our record 7-8. No worries though. Stay on the Haus train and glory will be yours. Here they are. Like them, love them, need them...

San Francisco (+21/2) at St. Louis. This is the season for the Niners. Troy Smith is back in at QB for them. Not sure why. It does not matter. Mike Singletary is going to have that defense fired up like crazy. And lets face it, neither team is good so I am mainly taking the 49ers because they are getting points.

Take San Fran to win outright, 20-17.


New England (-8) at Buffalo. Firstly this line should be near 14. Tom Brady in the cold is money. The Bills are just awful. Bill Belichick will not back off, he never does. If Carl were here he would make this his stone cold lock of the century...of the week.

Pats minus the eight points, 30-13 over the Bills.

Oakland (+3) home to Indianapolis. Upset special guys. Say what you will about Peyton Manning, he has struggled this year. Austin Collie is out for the season and Reggie Wayne is all Manning has left. The Colts rushing defense is ranked number 28 in the league, while the Raiders' rushing offense is number 2 in the league, gaining almost 160 rushing yards a game. The passing defense for the Raiders is ranked number 5 in the league which spells trouble for the injured Colts wide receivers. I almost always like home dogs. Oakland is going to control the clock, contain Peyton Manning and win this game outright.
Oakland 21-20 over Indy.


Green Bay (-3) home to New York. OK I am done with the Giants. Not even that team is going to be able to shake off that atrocity last week. The Packers defense is ranked in the top 5 and Eli Manning has been in the giving Christmas spirit all year and I expect that to continue in this game. Aaron Rodgers is back at QB for the Packers and he is going to pick apart that Giants secondary. The Giants D-Line is crazy good, but that surely did not help them last week. Maybe I have just been scarred, but I think the Pack wins this game by a touchdown.

Green Bay minus the points, 27-20.

Cincinnati (+8) home to San Diego. This game just smells like a Chargers let down. You never know what you are going to get from them from week to week. This is the Chargers season, but I expect a close game from the lowly Bengals. It is going to be cold and awful in Cincinnati and warm weather passing teams tend to struggle on the road in the cold. Saying that the Chargers have a top 5 defense and the Bengals cannot score for anything.
The Bengals cover but lose, 23-17.

New York Yankees: Fall of an Empire

If these two elderly people are Red Sox fans, I apologize.

So with the MLB winter meetings over, I have been waiting to hear about the New York Yankees signing three or four huge stars in another attempt at winning a World Series. And clearly with what we saw in the playoffs last year, the Yankees need something if they are going to try and make a run at it. And with their current lineup, that will not happen; as they stand right now, the Yankees are old, slow and injured. The Texas Rangers made them look like a Triple A team with Cliff Lee only pitching once in that series. Yankee fans should be glad that Cliff Lee went into God-mode against the Tampa Bay Rays and knocked them out of the playoffs because the Rays would have swept New York and got the Yankees whole front office fired. So normally about this time, the Yankees would go and buy some big time free agents in order to keep up with the rest of the American League, in this years case either Cliff Lee, Carl Crawford, or Jayson Werth. Also, there were rumors about New York trying to trade for Zach Greinke from the Kansas City Royals if the top free agents from this year somehow left money on the table and went to different teams. But no way that could happen. The Yankees have landed the biggest free agents for the last ten years from CC Sabathia, AJ Burnett and Mark Teixeira all in one year, Alex Rodriguez years before and Roger Clemens for half of another year. From Curtis Granderson to Nick Swisher to even Randy Johnson, everyone knows that every year the Yankees would offer some super awesomely huge contract to whatever prized free agent there was. The Players Union would then put pressure on said free agent to sign with New York in order to maximize all the free agent contracts that year, and POW!, the Yanks break another salary record and fill up the American League All-Star line-up. So we are all just waiting on their first move to come across the line.....still waiting.....nothing yet....

...and were still waiting.......what? All the free agents have already signed with other teams? Werth to the Nationals? Crawford to the Red Sox? And Lee to the Phillies? (because the Phils needed a front of the line starter...) Wow OK. Well surely the Yankees will make a move for Zach Greinke...what do you mean he already got traded to the Brewers? So you are telling me that the “greatest” franchise in sports could not land any free agents this year? Why would that be? How could the Yankees swing and miss so badly? Could it be because players have gotten tired of the Yankees? Could it be because the Yankees name and brand has been worn out over the years? Or could it be because of the way the Yankees handled the Derek Jeter situation? I believe the answer to all is yes.

The Yankees in my eyes have become this tired old man who feels entitled to things that he has not earned but still deserves them anyway just because of his storied past. Everyone, and I mean everyone, gave the Yanks last years World Series before the season even started. And what happened? The Rays ran up, down and all around them and took the division. Then the Rangers ran them out of the playoffs in 6 games. OK Grandpa. I have heard your stories. They are boring and old and you are boring and old and no one cares that you have won 987236459023475 World Series titles. What have you done in the last ten years? You have won once. The MLB is changing in this post-steroid era and until you realize this, teams like the Rangers, Red Sox and Rays are going to continue to make you look like the old, boil-ridden, nasty old man that you are. The rising teams are putting emphasis on youth, overall team speed, overall team defense (pitching and fielding) and just straight athleticism. And on top of being old and beaten up, you treated the face of your franchise like a piece of trash that had not ever done anything for you and you seemed insulted that he wanted to be treated like the five time World Series champion that he is. I am speaking of course of Derek Jeter, who the Yankees were actually going to discard just because he is past his prime and wanted one more year on his new contract from the team who he gave 14 great years. All this while the Yankees will spend ungodly amounts on players who have no history with the team and will not be near as productive in three years.

I realize it is a business and I know all about the Yankees history, but look at you now. Players are smarter than ever and are being surrounded by even smarter people. And look what your tired old ways and your “business” has gotten you. Players nowadays want to make a name for themselves and not to be compared to old Yankee players who could not even make a major league roster today. Players are seeing that if you want to win a World Series, you do not have to sell out for the Yankees but instead you can win it in other places with other teams (i.e. the San Francisco Giants this last year.) And players see how the Yankees treated one of the most famous Yankees ever, Derek Jeter, and they are put off by that. I mean how would they be treated if the Yankees treated Derek Jeter like that?

Finally, the age and stubbornness of the Yankees, I believe, has caught up to them. I think that players are going to start staying away from New York despite all the money and all the history and like Rome and Grandpa's old stories, the Yankees will fall and fade away. Have a good time with your history and overpaid players New York, and enjoy finishing third in the AL East every year.

2010 College Football Bowl Picks



Alright people here are my bowl picks. There are too many to explain them all to you, so ask forth your questions or tell me what you think might happen and then I will tell you why you are wrong. What you are seeing down here are the date and name of the bowl game, the teams playing with the bold one being my pick...the correct pick and my confidence level 1-35, with 35 being my most confident and 1 being my least. Enjoy and just thank me later.



New Mexico Bowl 12/18 BYU vs UTEP 7
Humanitarian Bowl 12/18 NIU vs Fresno St 5
New Orleans Bowl 12/18 Ohio vs Troy 3
St Petersburg Bowl 12/21 Southern Miss vs Louisville 6
Las Vegas Bowl 12/22 Utah vs Boise St 34
Poinsettia Bowl 12/23 San Diego St vs Navy 8
Hawaii Bowl 12/24 Hawaii vs Tulsa 22
Little Caesars Bowl 12/26 Florida Intl vs Toledo 4
Independence Bowl 12/27 Air Force vs Georgia Tech 11
Champs Sports Bowl 12/28 West Virginia vs NC State 15
Insight Bowl 12/28 Missouri vs Iowa 19
Military Bowl 12/29 East Carolina vs Maryland 21
Texas Bowl 12/29 Illinois vs Baylor 26
Alamo Bowl 12/29 Oklahoma St vs Arizona 32
Armed Forces Bowl 12/30 Army vs SMU 27
Pinstripe Bowl 12/30 Kansas St vs Syracuse 9
Music City Bowl 12/30 North Carolina vs Tennessee 12
Holiday Bowl 12/30 Nebraska vs Washington 33
Meineke Car Care Bowl 12/31 South Florida vs Clemson 13
Sun Bowl 12/31 Notre Dame vs Miami 17
Liberty Bowl 12/31 Central Florida vs Georgia 14
Chick-fil-A Bowl 12/31 South Carolina vs Florida St 28
Ticket City Bowl 01/01 Northwestern vs Texas Tech 30
Outback Bowl 01/01 Florida vs Penn State 20
Capital One Bowl 01/01 Alabama vs Michigan State 31
Gator Bowl 01/01 Mississippi St vs Michigan 25
Rose Bowl 01/01 Wisconsin vs TCU 1
Fiesta Bowl 01/01 UCONN vs Oklahoma 35
Orange Bowl 01/03 Stanford vs Virginia Tech 23
Sugar Bowl 01/04 Ohio State vs Arkansas 16
GoDaddy.com Bowl 01/06 Middle Tenn St vs Miami (OH) 2
Cotton Bowl 01/07 Texas A&M vs LSU 18
Compass Bowl 01/08 Pittsburgh vs Kentucky 10
Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl 01/09 Nevada vs Boston College 29
BCS Championship 01/10 Auburn vs Oregon 24

Nothing but Winners…Mostly
NFL Week 15 Picks



Well we ended up 3-2 last week thanks to Aaron Rodgers bouncing his head off of the turf. Jerk. That makes us 6-4 on the year and feeling good coming into Week 15 of the NFL. I think there is a good opportunity to make some money this week. There are a lot of dogs that I like on the road. Maybe a 5-teamer?? Yes please. Anyway here they are. Tell me what you think and I will learn you otherwise.



Houston (+1 1/2) at Tennessee. Johnson vs. Finnegan 2: Rumble in the Country.
I know Rusty Smith started for the Titans in the first meeting and it was a blowout and beatdown, in that order. But the Texans are still have a very stout run D and Kerry Collins will never ever, ever, ever be good again. This is a heated rivalry and look for Andre Johnson to go off again looking to make Cortland Finnegan seem like the average player that he is. And you know that Gary Kubiak and friends are going to do everything in their power to win.
Texans win outright 27-20.

New York Giants (-3) home to Philadelphia. The Eagles are coming off a tough win against the Cowboys and are a little beat up. Stuart Bradley is out and DeSean Jackson and Asante Samuel are questionable. Meanwhile, the Giants “c” team just beat the Vikings on Monday night with relative ease. We all know what the Giants D-Line can do and they held Vick down for the most part in the first meeting. And if yalls boy Eli Manning knew how to slide, the Giants probably would have won that game. Steve Smith is out for the season for the Giants, but no problem. Their defense wins the game for them.
Giants (-3), 24-20.

Dallas (-7) home to Washington. What more can I say? For some idiotic reason Mike Shanahan is sitting Donavon McNabb….yea…that is all. The line is only 7 right now. Hurry and bet it now because it is going to go up.
Cowboys blowout the Skins, 30-13.

New Orleans (+1 1/2) at Baltimore. The Saints are aflame on offense and with the Ravens seemingly unable to get to the QB, Drew Brees!!!!!!! is going to light them up worse then the fat guy on Three Ninjas. The Saints defense will be tested against Joe Flacco and Ray Rice, but I will take the Saints getting points almost every time.
Saints win outright, 27-24.

New York Jets (+5 1/2) at Pittsburgh. New York has lost two straight games. Their defense has played well but their offense has struggled. However saying this, offense is not really going to matter in this game. Both teams play conservative and rely on defense. The Steelers have been winning close games all year long and last game against the Bengals they won without having an offsensive touchdown. This game will surely be within the 51/2 points. Look for a low scoring, double chinstrap game.
Jets cover but lose, 10-13.

Say it Ain't So Brett
Oh, How We Will Miss Thee...

297. That number, I think, will survive with Brett Favre along with the iconic number 4 that has been on his jersey since he first came into the league. 297 is the number of consecutive regular season starts that Favre made between 1992 and last Monday night. (12/13/2010) To put how amazing that number is into perspective given the nature of football, if Peyton Manning, 34, does not miss a start in the next 5 years, he will still be 9 games short of Favre. Unfortunately, the number 297 is going to define his career when it should be defined by the love he had for the game.

Now we are nearing the end of his career, his streak has stopped, the Vikings season is over and there is a very real chance that Brett Favre will not be in the NFL next year, especially with the injuries he has suffered this year and the Jenn Sterger allegations looming over him and his family. We are not going to get to see the passion with which he played every play and every game. We are going to be deprived of the amazing moments of which I am so fond. We are going to miss out on the amazing throws that only he seemed to be able to complete and the bone-head idiot throws which he made you wonder whether or not he was bought off by the opposing team. We are going to miss his inability to tell a lie during a press conference and how he always told us how he felt regardless of who he might offend.

I could sit here and rattle off the statistics he has accumulated during his career with all the touchdowns and yards and interceptions but that would just cheapen the simplicity of Brett Favre. He is a man from Mississippi. He likes to hunt. He likes to ride his tractor. But most of all he was a football player. He just happened to play QB and be one of the best ever.

So next year when football season comes around and we are all gearing up for large men hitting each other because they are wearing different colored uniforms, there is going to be a little something missing from the NFL. We will still watch it and we will still love it but there will be something just a little off. Something just sitting there like a “splinter in your mind”, to quote Morpheus. Something that makes the NFL just a little less fun. And that something is going to be the absence of Brett Favre.

To all you people who hated his waffling and his indecision to return to play or to retire, do not start complaining when there is a lack of, “Oh my God did you see that” moments and no more, “I cannot believe he threw that ball” interceptions. Since I have started watching football, he has been responsible for more amazing moments, sights and images than anyone I can remember. In the big games and in the big moments, the great ones will make you stand up and cheer. Brett Favre would just make you sit there with your mouth agape in silence and you would wonder if you were dreaming because there is no way you just saw what you did. Hopefully, Brett can make these last three starts of the season and we can enjoy it while it lasts. Because he is going to be gone next year and frankly, the NFL is going to be worse off for it.

Tom Brady is Hawt!!! (but not like that...)

Yeah, maybe I have a man-crush on Tom Brady. Big whoop, wanna fight about it? Deep down all men do. If you say you do not, you are lying. And if you say you are not lying...you are lying. After this beatdown the Patriots are currently putting on the Bears, Brady is going to be the clear cut MVP frontrunner and there is no argument for anyone else. What he has done this year is currently unmatched and it is uncanny how he continues to win despite the turnover in the Patriots organization. 

 

Sorry, I digress. I wanted to talk about how good the Patriots are as a whole but I just got lost in Tom's eyes, as snow flurries in Chicago outline the defined curves of his firm, yet gentle and precise body. Powerful but understanding mind and....whoa I just lost consciousness and kept typing. I am very sorry. It will not happen again...

OK. Here we go. I am going to try to explain to you why the Patriots are going to win the Super Bowl, without mentioning his name, even though that might be a futile effort. I always try to look at who a team has beat, where they beat them and in what conditions. And the Patriots are going to end up with the best record in the AFC while playing one of the toughest schedules. That is a recipe for playoff success. Their young defense, which was thought to be their weakness this year has been looking like the 1985 Bears. Bill Belichick's defense schemes and ideas are second to none. Belichick is arguably one of the greatest head coaches ever and he gets even better in the playoffs (15-4). He continues to make average players look elite year in and year out, with his methodical and aggressive game plans. He is the biggest reason why the Patriots are who they are. 

 

And I did not even mention the fact that the Pats are going to have homefield advantage throughout the playoffs, and that Tom Brady has not lost a home start since like 1873 or something (well I tried not to mention him but alas, I could not help myself). 

 

All I am saying is this: pay attention to what is going on in New England right now. I am saddened that I did not get to experience what it was like during the Steelers dynasty in the 1970s or the 49ers' dominance in the 1980s. And whether I liked it or not, the Cowboys in the 1990s were one of the greatest teams in the history of the NFL and they were must see TV. What the Patriots have done the last ten years and are continuing to do now is something you are going to want to remember because this kind of greatness does not happen often. This current Patriots team is a dynasty if you were having trouble figuring it out and you need to pay attention because this is what every team in the NFL is striving to be.

P.S. Te amo, Tom...

Football Winners: Be as Smart as Haus

         Well we went 3-2 last week on our picks. The Bengals killed me. And what they did to the Saints D, will explain one of my picks this week. I like four favorites this week and one dog. This dog is so solid that you should go bet your house on it. Seriously....right after you read this, go to your bookie or website and bet house. Also if you want to see previous picks, just leave a comment and I will get it to you. Anyway here they are, as solid as ever.

Jacksonville (-4) hosting Oakland. The Jags are running the ball like crazy and looking to stay in front of Indy in a tight division race. West coast teams coming East and playing early never do well and the Raiders QB situation is pedestrian at best.

Take the Jags minus the points, 24-14.

Green Bay (-6 ½) at Detroit. Aaron Rodgers and his receivers are on fire right now and even if they were not, the Lions are down to their 3^rd string QB and will not score more than 13 points. I cannot believe the line is this low.

Take the Packers to cover 31-10.

Atlanta (-7) at Carolina. The Panthers are the worst team in the league and they are all beat-up. That is all.

Atlanta wins going away, 27-13.

Baltimore (-3) at Houston. The Ravens are mad right now. The loss to the Steelers last week was unacceptable given how that game was going. They are going to open up that offense and Joe Flacco is going to look like freaking John Elway.

The Ravens win a shootout, 35-28.

Upset Alert!!!

St. Louis (+8½) at New Orleans. While I realize the Rams defense has been playing very well recently and is keeping them in that division, but it is the offense that is going to cover for them. The Saints defense is not what it was last year. Sam Bradford is completing 60% of his passes and he does not turn the ball over and turnovers are what the Saints defense is built upon. Inferior teams have been keeping it close against the Saints (like the Cowboys and Bengals) and eight and a half points is a lot.

Saints win but Rams cover, 28-20.

NFL Head Coaches Gone Wild...but Mostly Just Gone

Yesterday yet another head coach was fired in the NFL. The victim's name was Josh McDaniels. He was last seen illegally taping the 49ers walk-through before a game in London, and just after that, being awful at coaching. Including that 49ers game, he has lost 17 of the last 20 regular season games. He is the third head coach fired this year including Wade Phillips and Brad Childress. I am simply asking... why are those teams so lucky? How come the Texans feel the need to keep their head coach? The Texans fit right in with the Cowboys, Vikings and Broncos, who all had very high expectations this year. In fact, a lot of people had the Cowboys or the Vikings in the Super Bowl and they have both fired their head coaches.

Well, high expectations for the Broncos might have been a little misplaced, but if they are firing their coach when their expectations were not as high as the Texans, why in the hell do we still have Gary Kubiak? Some people are saying that Kubiak is still around because of the contract he just signed before the year. But honestly, contracts in sports are broken all the time so who gives a flying crap about that. If people are going to keep calling the NFL a business that just happens to be a game, then loyalty and honesty mean squadoosh.

Now Texans Super Bowl aspirations this year might have been far-fetched but this team should have been in the playoffs. And barring a bunch of scenarios and crazy tie-breakers, the Texans are going to be on the outside looking in once again. Why does it seem that the Texans, and Houston as a whole for that matter, are being held to a lower standard? Should we not expect the same thing out of our teams? McDaniels got fired and he was not even the coach for more than two years. Until Houston starts holding people accountable for sucking, we are going to continue to come up short every year. Now I realize I am beating a dead horse. Believe me I do not want to be beating this horse. This horse has been dead for two years...just a huge dead horse...and I hate this horse...it's the smell.

Look, coaches coach and players play. We cannot fire our players. But we can get rid of the person that puts the players in the wrong places. That person is Gary Kubiak. Huge dead horse...It is time to give someone else a chance with this team. People of Houston hear me, cheer for the Ravens come Monday night. Only a beatdown by the Ravens on national TV on Monday Night Football is going to make the Texans ownership see the light. Out.

Big Berkman: Big Puma or Big Backstabber?

I know were in the middle of the NFL season and baseball does not start for five months, but living in Houston and being an Astros fan makes this of the utmost importance. Now knowing Houston fans, they are going to go crazy when they hear that Lance Berkman has signed with a team in the NL Central that is not the Astros. And once they get over this, they will say, “well at least tell me it was not with the Cardinals.” Then they are going to find out that indeed Lance Berkman has signed with the Cardinals. One year, eight million dollars.

I am sure when Houston fans heard this they fell into coma. Give them about a month and they will wake. To every crazy, emotional Houston fan there are two teams that are off limits when it comes to former Astros signing with them: Atlanta and St. Louis. They got over when Roy Oswalt got traded to the Phillies. And they were even fine with Berkman being traded to the Yankees last year, because and I remember, one of my Astros craved friends saying, “at least it was not the Braves or Cardinals.” People are going to be asking how Lance Berkman knowingly signed with the team that tormented him for the last decade. How can he change in the same locker room as Albert Pujols, who is the only sole reason that Lance Berkman is not a household name—having overshadowed him since he came into the league and on top of it all, is responsible for the second most devastating moment in Houston sports history (just behind the Buffalo Bills incident of which we no longer speak...) I know you have lots of questions Astros fans and I know you have a lot of built up frustration—epecially with what is going on with the Rockets and Texans. But I am here to say do not fret. I am here to disconnect you emotionally from Lance Berkman. I am here to tell you to applaud like crazy when the Cardinals visit. And I am here to tell you why we do not want Lance Berkman on our team.

Some people are going to ask why I would not want a future Hall of Famer on my team. And do not get me wrong, Lance Berkman will be in the Hall of Fame. But the fact of the matter is that the Houston Astros right now have one of the youngest teams in the league. They are trying to gel as a team and finally...FIANLLY!!!!! the Astros have cut those huge, awful contracts with aged players save for Carlos Lee (who I personally do not mind at first base). You know that if Berkman came back to the Astros he would be making twice what the Cardinals are paying. 

The Astros are saving money by not resigning him and I really do believe that we are in the Carl Crawford sweepstakes because of the money we saved by getting rid of Oswalt and Berkman, because Crawford is from here and knows Michael Bourn well. Frankly put, the Astros have no room for a 34 year old first basemen who can barely hit from the right side anymore and is defensively not the same as he used to be. I do not care who it is. For this team right now I would not even want a 34 year old Jeff Bagwell. This team is young and is on the rise. So what if the face of the Astros' last decade will be here ten times a year wearing red. Big deal. It was a business decision for him and if anyone knows how to get him out, it is the Astros.

So I am here to say once again it is going to be OK Houston. Calm down. Try again to separate yourself from the emotion and what the Astros need right now. Right now we need to rally around our youth, give them our money and hope to God that Carl Crawford wants to take a hometown discount. But, Crawford or no Crawford, if you are selling Astros stock, I am buying.

At Least One BCS Bowl Doesn't Suck

Auburn vs. Oregon. No, I am not the guy who hates small schools and non-automatic qualifying schools in small conferences. I am the guy who hates being deprived of all possible scenarios. I hate missing out on opportunities to see something amazing. It is why I watch sports. Above fandom, above watching giant men hitting each other, above stars and star power, I watch sports to see something that I have not seen before—something that I can tell people about, something that I can tell my kids about. One of those “remember when” moments, one of those “where were you when it happened moments.” And of all the different kinds of sports and games, college football presents you with a uniqueness that no other sport can. The emotion and the tension presented in college football is second to none. Probably because a lot of the schools are in small cities where the university is king and is a way of life. College football is so full of passion and emotion that I find myself rooting for teams in other parts of the country. Although graduated from Texas A&M, when I watch an SEC matchup, I find myself getting behind a certain team or player just because of the emotion of the game and how big they are from week to week. It is amazing how college football can polarize cities and communities and even groups of friends. And all of this being said, college football deserves more than just “every week is a playoff game.”

I think the BCS is selling us short by using that argument as an excuse to not have a playoff system set up, especially for years like this. I think the BCS is going to deprive me of my moment this year. They are going to take from me my passion and my reason for watching sports. Trust me, I have no problem with the Auburn vs. Oregon game. It is going to end up 50-48 if those two teams play.. and it will rock... but then comes Stanford in the “Who Gives a Crap” bowl in the middle of Wyoming. Stanford is 11-1 with their only loss at Oregon in a game in which they lead in the third quarter. Wisconsin is putting up 1200 points a game and their only loss was to Michigan St...on accident. To deprive me of a four or eight game playoff system on top of an amazing season and an amazing scramble to get to the top of the BCS is an atrocity. College football this year is going to deprive me of the “hook and ladder” and the “statue of liberty” plays for which I live (sorry OU people, but that game was amazing). I believe that college football and the BCS are going to take my moment away from me by putting great teams in games that they do not care about. Now there is something to be said for the mid to small bowl games. To bring together small schools and communities and give people opportunities to see schools from other parts of the country. But for the elite teams in the country, they need to be put together to determine who truly is number one. And when this happens, the tension and emotion of college football will finally be fully expressed. There will be memorable games every year.

Can you imagine Stanford against Auburn in the quarterfinals? Or the TCU defense stopping LaMichael James on the goaline for the win? Or Cam Newton vs. Terrelle Pryor? Or Ryan Mallet's big going out game? And instead of this happening, were going to get only one game where both teams actually care. Only one game where I have chance to see my moment.

So given everything I have said, I want you to root for Auburn and Oregon this weekend. I am willing to sacrifice my moments now so that I may get more in the future. I want TCU to go undefeated and not get looked at for anything. TCU is going to roll Wisconsin in the Rose Bowl because the Badgers will not even show up. Poor Stanford is going to end up playing some sorry Big 12 team in the middle of nowhere. And somehow, someway a Big East team is going to play one of these elite teams just because they have an automatic bid to a BCS bowl game. Not to bash the Big East, but when the team that wins the conference is not even ranked (UConn), that is a problem. And while this year is perfect for an eight team playoff, I implore you to cheer for Auburn and Oregon this weekend because it will shine a light so bright on a flawed system that a change will be inevitable and I will get to see more amazing games.

7-9 "Winners": How the NFC West Was Won

For those of you who turned on Monday night football expecting to see a close, well executed NFC West game, I am so very sorry. Whereas I watch as much football as I can, hopefully you did not stay up watching the penalized riddled, middle school football game that was the 49ers-Cardinals game. ESPN and the NFL sent out apologies on their websites after the game......well they did not, but they should. 
 

Now I do not want to sit here and just rag on the Niners and Cardinals or the entire NFC West (San Francisco, Seattle, Arizona and St. Louis) for that matter... but yea... that is what I am going to do anyway. And before any goes off on me about me being from Houston, understand this, every team in the NFC West would be in last place in every other division in the league. For the last two years, the Cardinals have made the playoffs on accident with records of 9-7 and 10-6. And now that their Hall of Fame QB is gone, they are going to finish well below .500. Moreover, there is a very real chance that the winner of the division is going to finish at 7-9. For those of you who do not know the playoff structure in the NFL, each conference gets 6 teams in the playoffs (4 from each of the division winners and two wildcard teams which have the next best records respectively.) Currently, the Rams and Seahawks are tied at the top with 5-6 records, followed by the 49ers at 4-7 and Cardinals at 3-8. This is the problem with the current playoff structure in the NFL. One of these teams is going to represent the NFL in the playoffs, leaving out teams that might have a record two games better, in a more difficult division.

Yes the Texans were left out last year due to a tiebreaker with the Jets, along with two other 9-7 teams. This is not the point. And I am not upset about the Texans being left out. And also, this is not like Boise St. or TCU playing for the BCS National Championship. This would be like Indiana playing for the championship. An atrocity. Something needs to be done in the NFL when years like this occur. It does not happen that often but it could be fixed with a simple 8-8 rule or something like that. Some radical people would just do away with divisions for good, but I think that is a bad idea. Divisions make for great rivalries and give different cultures to different regions of the country. However, a 7-9 division winner has no place in the playoffs when there are teams like Tampa Bay and New York that might get left out of the NFC Playoffs with 10-6 or 9-7 records. Not only would the team that drew the NFC West winner in the playoffs have an advantage in the wildcard round, the team with the bye would not get the full advantage of a bye, having to play a team that had a tough battle the week before.

I implore the NFL to do something about this if the NFC winner ends up at 7-9. There is no reason to allow a team that cannot win at least half of their games. NFL fans are more devoted and smarter than ever. Please do not insult their intelligence by letting some bush league team in over another that truly deserves it.

Cortland Finnegan and the Bear Poking Exhibition

These four things I know are true: Alexander conquered the Persians, nothing is sweeter than summer rain, every DeLorean can travel through time and you do not pick fight with someone who can beat your ass. Andre Johnson, if he wanted to, could probably run through the UFC and Cortland Finnegan decided to, as the title suggests, poke the bear a little too much.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMMJBVXTIHA
 
During a 20-0 blowout, Titans corner back Cortland Finnegan was constantly yapping and talking junk like he could not see the scoreboard. Like he could not see that the man he had been defending the entire game had pwned him once again. At the time of the fight, Andre Johnson had 9 receptions and a TD. Numbers like that are common when Johnson goes up against Finnegan. However, this time the battle continued well after the play. Finnegan like the punk he is, instead of taking his whooping like a man, started to chirp and yap. Things escalated during a couple of running plays in the 4^th quarter while Johnson was blocking and spilled over after a run that was not even on their side of the field and BOOM!! Johnson started smoking fools and lighting up chumps. By all accounts Andre Johnson is the nicest, quietest guy in the league. The exception to the diva wide receiver rule which has infected the NFL. But every man has that point when it is time to go. Finnegan got a cheap shot to the face on him and that was the line. Johnson sees Finnegan twice a year and has to deal with this coward of a person who would rather make a name for himself by trash-talking and not having good, solid play on the field. And Finnegan like the punk he is, backed up that cowardly performance by hitting Andre Johnson's right fist with his face a couple times. Clearly Johnson lost his cool. He felt bad for what happened because he knows that is not him and he apologized after the game.

I have been harping for at least a year for someone on the Texans to step-up and take control and leadership of this team. And leave it to the douche Cortland Finnegan to simultaneously be exactly what the Texans did and did not need. He provided a release valve for a frustrated team and hopefully rallied the Texans behind Andre Johnson who needs to take control of this team. Unfortunately, the Texans play in Philadelphia on Thursday and Johnson might be suspended by the league for that game. Ask anyone in the league if Finnegan got what he had coming and they would say yes. Most people also think Johnson should not be suspended and 20 years ago that would not even be questioned. It is just an unfortunate situation.

Should he be suspended? No. Will he be suspended? I do not know. I do know that if Richard Seymour did not get suspended for punching Ben Roethlisberger last week, Johnson should not be suspended for putting a punk in his place. Hopefully the league will take Johnson's record and personality into account when they decide because while I loved the fire, I would rather see Andre burning up the Eagles on Thursday.

Michael Vick for M.V.P.????

   Yes those are questions marks in the title. The question marks are there because I would like to question the statement before it. Never have I seen NFL fans become so reactionary over one game. Never have I seen fans want something to happen so badly. Maybe that is just the nature of our society. We forgive and forget and want underdogs to succeed and in Vicks case, be redeemed. Yes Michael Vick beat the Redskins two Mondays ago. Yes he beat them bad. He beat them very bad...like really bad. If you did not see it, Vick went left, the 'skins went right, then the game was over. A simple 85 yd flick to begin the game and it was over. But when you get down to it, he beat a bad team on a bad day.

   The problem with Michael Vick giving the M.V.P. is that he is not even in second in the M.V.P. voting. Since that game, people everywhere have been handing the M.V.P. to him like Philip Rivers did not exist. And I would argue that Tom Brady would finish second in the voting right now. If your tallest receiver is Wes Welker and you rely on a 6-yr old boy named Danny Woodhead, game in and game out and you are still 9-2, you get the M.V.P......uhh if Rivers was not doing what he is doing. I could sit here and spew out a bunch of stats but I will not. We all know Rivers is going to break Marino's season yardage record. And once again, he has started a late season run right on cue. He is doing more with nothing. And him and that nothing are going to come back and win the revived AFC West. If you could name the receivers the Chargers were going to have other than Malcolm Floyd, Antonio Gates and Vincent Jackson before the season started, I would have slapped yo mama in the face for raising a liar. What makes Rivers' year so great is that Gates has missed the last several games with injury, Jackson was a hold out and is going to play his first game this week and on top of it all, the Chargers first round draft pick Ryan Mathews has been injured most of the season and they have been relying on undersized Darren Sproles and someone named Mike Tolbert to run the ball. (Incidentally, if you cut Tolbert in half, you would get two Darren Sproles) I still do not know who their receivers are. One of them is a TUTU or something??

   The lesson is this: we again need to separate what we want to happen from what is happening. Look, I am a football fan. I am a Michael Vick fan. I want him to be redeemed and to succeed just has much as the next guy, but that does not mean we can just ignore other greatness. The fact of the matter is that he missed three games but the Eagles still managed without him. In fact Kevin Kolb, the real starter, won two of those games. So you wonder how much of it was Vick and how much of it was really head coach Andy Reid. And the head coaching position is another point in Rivers' favor with the wailing idiot he has coaching him. Michael Vick has been very good this year, and who knows, maybe he will blow us all away these last six weeks and move in front of Rivers and Brady. But given how the Pats and Chargers play in December and January, do not count on it.

  As for my humble M.V.P. picks,

1. Philip Rivers. On top of all the stats and injured teammates, his team is in prime position for a division win
2. Tom Brady. What can I say. Year in and year out he wins. If he did not have Bill Belichick as head coach, he would be number one.
3. Michael Vick. You have seen the tape. You know what he can do. If he can do what he did to the Redskins a couple of more times, he might jump up the list.

Vince Young and the Houstonians' Delusion

   Disclaimer: To any knowledgeable and informed person, discontinue your reading of this beaten to death and obvious argument because it will surely make you run towards the nearest living thing and kill it.

   Anyone who knows me and sees this title will immediately right it off as me hatin' on that boy. But bare with me and ye shall be saved.

   If I hear one more Texans fan say that they would be better with Vince Young at QB, I am going to disown Houston and move to Peoria. People in Houston are obsessed two games in his non-NFL career in which nothing happened except him being huge and fast and owning the game. Those games are Madison vs. North Shore his senior year in high school. A game that is kind of legendary here in Houston, where VY was the only kid with facial hair. And the National Championship game against USC where he went into God-mode and could not be stopped. And do you VY lovers have any idea what those games have in common? Not one D-Coordinator in the NFL gives a flying crap about any of that.

   By all physical aspects and accounts, Young should be the best QB in the league. Compared to Manning, Brady, Brees, Rivers, Rodgers, Ryan, Flacco... I will stop because I do not want to type the name of every starting QB in the NFL right now, he is the most physically gifted guy in the league. And yet you always hear those other names in front of his. Why do you think that is? Because he is unintelligent in every sense of the word unintelligent. Frankly, he is just not smart... at all. But the worst part of it all is that being dumb can be overcome. Just look at Dan Marino. His Wonderlic scores (15) were the lowest ever for a QB. The difference is the reason VY is truly unintelligent. He does not work. He is not prepared. Dan Marino might have had an extra chromosome--but he was smart enough to know he needed to work his ass off, even when he could not tell his ass from a hole in the ground. So he busted it and became one of the greatest quarterbacks ever. VY works from 9-5. Drew Brees works 6am to midnight. Peyton Manning prepares 25-8. That is what separates VY from the best... or even the marginal.

   So you keep the constantly most overrated QB ever and I will keep Matt Schaub or anybody else....ever.... And to you Houstonians and other people who think he can be a decent NFL QB, STOP!!! You need to try to separate your emotion from your arguments. VY lovers are caught up in what you saw before he started playing against athletes equal to him. He will never be great, because he does not want to be great.

Excuses: The Texans Safety Net

Congrats Texans fans!!! You have been given another excuse for losing a game. You have been given another incident to bring up when some fans from other teams ask you why you have finished 8-8.....again. The conversation will go as follows: “The Texans are awful. They are 4-5.” Then the response from delusional Texans fans, “Yea but that was a one in a million play,” and “Well they played well in the second half." You can use those along with the excuse made popular last year which was, “Yea but or kicker blah blah blah,” or some perennial favorites such as “I can't believe that ball stayed in bounds,” or “That was a terrible call,” or “Some of our starters were injured or suspended for shooting HGH into their eyes." We can keep using these excuses as a way of protecting ourselves against actually putting a winning team on the field. God forbid we stop making excuses for our team and start holding players and coaches accountable for mediocrity.

I do not want to name drop any names of teams that do not make excuses and strive for excellence year in and year out.....STEELERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PATRIOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EAGLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GIANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...................

and I do not intend to. The fact of the matter is this, the Texans are never going to be great with a coordinator at the head coaching spot. Go ask the Cowboys how that worked out. I implore you Bob Mcnair, swallow that Kubiak contract and give Jon Gruden a blank check. We have the talent and the systems to be great and we have a window for the next couple of years to stay that way. I do not want to see the Texans turn into the Chargers (who currently have a coordinator at coach and are 3-5) or Cowboys who have crazy loads of talent and nothing to show for it. But hey, we are Houston!!! Little brother to the Dallas Cowboys!!! We do not truly care about winning! We just want to get drunk and tailgate and make-up outrageous reasons for losses!!!! Yeehaw!!!!!!!

So get your excuses ready Houston for when you go to work this week or when you go out with your buddies. My best advice to you would be to come up with some new ones because you are going to need them when you try to defend your underachieving, over-hyped and overrated team.