Honestly??? Honestly...

What really happens in the Matt/Jesse household.

Disclaimer: The following entry has way too much vulgarity. Like to my family members, please cease and desist now. You will think less of me...are you still reading this?? The zoo is a cutthroat place and this is what I have to do to survive. The word-squeamish need not read. Reader discretion is advised.

Ok let me start by apologizing to anyone who thought this was going to have some strong/awesome/almost always correct sports opinions. As you may know, my new gay-as-fuck roommate started this stupid ass blog in which he passive-aggressively bashes everything I do and he thinks it's so fucking funny...fagtool. Some of my coworkers wanted me to start writing counterpoint blog entries so they would know what really happens and not what that fatfuck says happens. So daddy is going to give you hungry, baby birdies what you want. But just a little bit. You're welcome.

I thought I would start by asking myself the same questions that Matt asked himself in his first entry, “11 days before the move” on his blog, Manlyconfessions.blogspot.com

Why Matt?

Why the fuck not? I would have moved in with anyone because I need to save some fucking money to support my life addiction.

Do you think you will get sick of him or vice versa?

Yes.

Is Rhonda's relationship with you and her friendship with Matt gonna be weird?

I do not think so. He wont mind having her over for two and a half minutes at a time. Besides, Ill send her on her way afterwards with what appears to be “teardrops” all over her back.

Are you worried about sweating on Matt's furniture or appliances?

Not at all. That ass-pirate will probably save all the sweat in a container labeled, “Eau de Jesse: For the man who wants to smell like the most hardcore awesome motherfucker on the Earth, Jesse Thomas Santee III Esq.”, and pour the sweat all over his body while using his Sybian as he writhes in pleasurepain.

Are you going to fall for Matt's gay charms?

Well he does have pretty eyes and a sexy way about him. But if I can keep his disgusting, apple-shaped body and the overwhelming desire I have to not be buttfucked in the back of my head, I should be good.

What if the Texans and the Steelers are playing at the same time?

Well they played each other in Week 3, so I guess Ill do the same thing the Texans did to the Steelers that day...Ill put my dick in his mouth and put him in his overrated place while I watch the Texans.

He does not drink whiskey...are you concerned?

Hell no. He wont touch my shit and I wont touch his...unless I want to.

Since you guys are obviously the most fun people at the zoo, are you going to just hangout with each other and not include us?

Well Matt is the bitch who hates everybody and its kind of his place so I guess its up to him. But I dont give a shit who comes over as long as you dont drink all my whiskey, puke on and around my toilet and takeover my bed leaving me to fend for myself in the living room and the fart chair...definitely dont do that...you know who you are...

What are those noises coming from his room?

That is the sound of balls slapping chin...or other balls I guess...(god damn thats fucking sick. You're a sick fuck Matt)

If you have anymore questions or concerns, feel free to blow it out your ass.

Sincerely Yours,

Jesse

NFL Week 5: Tom Brady's Redemption

Ok guys. I can admit when I am wrong. Last week something happened that will never happen again. Haus bet against the Godking Tom Brady. Never, ever again. Forgive me Tom. I was wrong to despair. We went 3-2 last week because of my despair and my overconfidence in my Aggies in a big game. That makes us 12-8 and this week 5 have manned down and picked 4 favorites. Also, how about we celebrate Thrash getting his first when by picking the Colts. Colts?? Only from Thrash.

New Orleans (-6½) at Carolina

Stop it Cam Newton people. This is Drew the fuck Brees. Just stop.

Saints roll 37-20.

New England (-7) hosting NYJ

Forgive me Tom. From now until my death, I am your man. And I would like to apologize to all Jet fans. Hurricane Brady is my fault. Cromartie keep talking your shit. New England is going to score the high point total of the year in this game.

Pats all over the Jets, 52-30.

San Diego (-3½) at Denver

I am sure that is a misprint on betus.com. Hell I will take that all day.

Bolts 27-21.

Green Bay (-5½) at Atlanta

We all remember what happened last year in the playoffs. I am done on the Falcons this year. They do not look like the team they were last year and my boy Aaron ends their misery this Sunday.

Pack over the Falcons, 38-25.

Chicago (+5) at Detroit

Do not fret Lions fans. Ya boy Haus still loves the Lions all year. The fact of the matter is that the Bears can D up and with Matt Forte playing like he is, I think he will neutralize Suh and Fairley. The Lions have not played on Monday night since 1927. They are young. They will press. And they will lose this game outright.

Bears 24-21 over Detroit.

Thrash's Stone Cold Lock of the Century, of the Week.

Be careful people. This has not yet happened this year. Thrash and Haus agreeing on a game??? Take that shit to the damn bank.

New England (-7) vs New York

The jets have been lucky so far, so the Patriots are looking to give them the business after they were tainted by the Bills last week.

Brady 31 Ryan 9

Suck it, Rex

2011 NFL Week 4

Who wants some winners????

GO!!!

Anyone who said they took the Bills over the Pats last week lies. All lies. We went 2-3 and are now 9-6 on the season. I have a couple dawgs this week and one super homer college game. WHOOP!!!! And of course Thrash's Stone Cold Lock of the Century, of the Week. Thrash is just as awesome as Carl at picking winners. 0-3 so sad...LOL. GO!!!

Detroit (+2) at Dallas

Are you freaking kidding me?? Look we all know Haus' disdain for anything Dallas, but stop it America. They have not been good since Michael Irvin got knocked the shit out and left the team. Are you really psyched about a team that kicked 6 field goals against the Redskins? I mean come on. The Lions D-Line is going to (and I do not like to curse and get vulgar online too often but the Cowboys bring it out of me) fuck Tony Romo up. Ndamukong Suh is going to rip his lung out of his chest through that flak jacket and eat it write there on the field. Soon after, the rest of the Cowboys, save for Martellus Bennet and Stephen McGee, are going to service him in any way he sees fit. And all the while, MY BOY Megatron Johnson well be getting every woman in JerryWorld pregnant with only one load. This manufactured respect the Cowboys get has got to stop. And the Lions are going to be the ones to do it.

The Lions will be shitting out Cowboy carcasses during lunch on Monday, so lay the points and take the Lions, 550,000,000-23.....yes......really.....Mother of God.

New Orleans (-7) at Jacksonville

Never ever ever again will I bet against Drew Brees. 7 is not enough in this game. I am not even sure who the Jags QB is. Blow....wait for it....out.\

Saints cover easily, 37-21.

Green Bay (-12) vs. Denver

Green Bay is 3-0. Aaron Rodgers has picked up right where he left off. Do not get me wrong, I love the fightin' Von Millers', but no. Stop it.

Packers roll, 42-25.

Oakland (+5) vs. New England

Everyone knows how I feel about Tom Brady. Let's face it. He is a gorgeous man. He had a bad game against the Bills last week. He went and cut his hair. New and improved. The Pats win this game late on his glorious shoulders. Despite his greatness, I might pick against the Pats for awhile ATS because of their defense. The Raiders are legit and McFadden is showing why should have won the Heisman in 2009.

McFadden goes off in a loss, but the Raiders cover, 36-32.

NCAA Football

Texas A&M (-2½) vs. Arkansas

This game is in here because my boy Richie is talking some mad shit. Hey Rookie, this is the wrong year to talk some anit-aggie shit. Last week, A&M blew a 17 point halftime dominating lead. Not again. Never again. At least this year. Ags will have double digit wins this year and this game is one of them. Arkansas is overrated at QB. And I know Alabama has a sick D, but the Hogs only rushed for 17 yards last week. Not good enough. Tannehill and Fuller bounce back big this week and the Wreckin' Crew will do what it does.

Aggies crush Arkansas, 38-25.

Thrash's Stone Cold Lock of the Century, of the Week...

Colts (+10) at Tampa Bay

The Colts D finally steps up and stymies the unsuspecting Bucs. Colts keep their monday night streak alive without Manning...either that or the Bucs embarrass the shit out of the Colts.

Colts win outright, 20-17.

NFL Winners Week 3

Bet Your Haus!!!

Ok well we ended up going 3-2 last week thanks to Ryan Fitzpatrick channeling his inner Frank Reich against the Raiders and that makes us 7-3 on the year. So now we have week 3 upon us and ya boy, Haus likes 4 dawgs and Thrash is getting crazy in the NFC North. Only here will you get stones of that size ATS. Count it!!!

P.S. I did not bet against the Colts this week like promised.

San Francisco (+2½) over Cincinnati

I have liked the way Carlos' boy Alex Smith has looked these first two weeks. Managing the game like a 4^thround pick instead of losing the game like a first overall pick bust that people claim he is. The Bengals are bad. The Bengals are young. And evidently, every one of them is high. DAMN!!!! Frank Gore and the D give the Niners the win.

Take San Fran and lay the points, 23-20.

New England (-7) over Buffalo

I know I just compared Ryan Fitzpatrick to Frank Reich. Frank Reich was good once....in one half...against the baby blue Oilers. ESPN Classic reminds us once a week. WE GET IT!!! HOUSTON CHOKED!!!! STOP MAKING US RELIVE IT!!!! Fitzpatrick is to Reich like Brady is to Montana.

Patriots 33-23 over the Bills.

Houston (+4) over New Orleans

We all know I am from Houston. That D has looked amazing against two bad offenses. The offense is what it is. Maybe if Arian Foster was 100%, I would like them to win, but I am going to stick with my preseason thoughts of this game. Drew Brees will be Drew Brees. That defense gives after Schuab late in the dome and hold off a Texans rally.

Texans lose but cover, 30-28.

Oakland (+3) at home over New York (J)

Well the Jets cannot win every week. Everyone slips up. Nick Mangold is out. The Raiders D-Line is crazy and the Raiders can really run it. All that being said, I like the Raiders to win this game outright for no other reason that the Jets have to travel across country.

Low scoring Raiders win, 21-17.

Atlanta (1½) over Tampa Bay

Give me Matt Ryan, Michael Turner, Roddy White and Tony Gonzalez getting points and I am going to take those points almost every time. I do not think the Bucs are quite there yet and this is supposed to be Ryan's breakout year. The Falcons cannot afford to go 1-2 to start the year after losing to the Bears in week one.

Falcons pull away late, 33-21.

And now for Thrash's, “Stone Cold Lock of the Century, of the Week.”

Detroit (-3½) at Minnesota

Look for McNabb to find his game and for Peterson to do what he does best... Crush puny humans!!

Minnesota upsets Detroit 24-10.....cuz Carl told me so...

NFL Week 2 Winners

Trust ya boy people!! 4-1 last week and it is only going to get better. Trust me. I am fat and lazy. What more could you want?? I have 2 underdogs for you guys this week and I have a new extra pick for you that is guaranteed to amuse and underwhelm you....”Thrash's Stone Cold Lock of the Century, of the Week”, stolen from Carl of course. Enough of our well-thought out jabbering. Sell the Haus on these picks.

Buffalo (-3) vs. Oakland

I am only taking Buffalo because Oakland is on a short week and traveling across country to play at noon. While I think both teams are better this year, they are still bad. 3 points is not enough for Oakland to overcome the stress of their situation in week 2.

The Bills cover, 30-20.

Baltimore (-6) at Tennessee

Well, Baltimore just finished blowing out a very good Steelers team. Their defense will make Matt Hasselbeck wish he was still in Seattle. The Titans are very bad and I cannot believe this number is so low.

The Ravens cruise, 34-14.

Seattle (+14) at Pittsburgh

Yes I just realized that I just finished bashing the Seahawks and defending the Steelers in my previous pick. I am not saying the Steelers will lose, but this is the NFL, not college. 14 is too many points almost always, save for the God-King that is Tom Brady.

Seahawks lose but only by ten, 28-18.

Tampa Bay (+3) at Minnesota

Donovan McNabb threw for 39 yards last week. AP is still the man in Minnesota and Tampa Bay knows that. Peterson will still get his but thats not enough to cover 3 points.

Take Tampa and lay the points, 24-20.

Cleveland (-2) at Indy

Cleveland as they stand right now has a good football team. The Colts with Peyton Manning are formidable. The Colts minus Manning are, how can I put this delicately, dzizczkzszhzizt. (Just remove the “z's”) I will try not to pick against the Colts every week without Peyton, but there are a lot of crap games this week.

Browns cover, 21-13.

And now it is time for, “Thrash's Stone Cold Lock of the Century, of the Week.” If any of you know Daniel Thrash, you know that he lives to make me miserable. That is his purpose. That purpose created him, it guides him, it drives him, defines him, it is that purpose that binds him. Without me, he cannot exist. Also he thinks he knows a lot about football like me and he too, will look like Carl in 20 years. Here is his pick for NFL 2011 Week 2.

Philadelphia at Atlanta (+2)

The spread has this game to be a close one, but the Eagles defense is pretty stout and their offense is very explosive. Eagles take this one early.

31-13 Philadelphia. Lock it up people.

Bet Your Haus Winners!!

2011 NFL Week 1

Well Haus starts this year of football betting anew. And that little 16-20 record ATS, do not worry about that little guy. I picked the Super Bowl dangerously close and I am fired up for this year. Well I do not want to write too much so we will just get into this. I have a couple of dogs in here for ya too.

Detroit (+1½) over Tampa Bay

I totally freaking hate how the media will hype up a team or player and everyone in the country starts drinking that teams kool-aid. That being said, I am all up in the Lions kool-aid and I have a huge man-crush on my boy Megatron Johnson. And do not get me started on that D-Line of theirs. Suh, Fairley and Vanden Bosch are scary, scary men. If Mathew Stafford can stay healthy, I expect them to challenge the Packers for the NFC North. Yea, I said it.

Take the Lions and lay the points, 24-23.

Houston (-8½) over Indy

This one is like taking vegetables from me. That Colts team without Manning should start each game losing by two touchdowns. No analysis needed.

Texans blowout the Colts, 39-20.

St. Louis (+4) over Philadelphia

The Rams are another one of my playoff teams this year. Sam Bradford is real and their defensive line is very good. And at the same time, I am not buying the Eagles and there “Dream Team” just yet. If you remember at the end of last year, Michael Vick struggled against athletic blitzers and the Eagles O-Line is completely different and untested. I think the Eagles win this game, but I am not buying them this year.

St. Louis loses but take the points, 27-24.

Dallas (+6½) over the New York Jets

Yes we all know that I hate Dallas, but I hate the Jets almost as much. I do not like Mark Sanchez as a QB right now and while the Jets have a stout D, Sanchez's offense is not good enough to overcome almost a TD against the spread. It is going to be crazy in New York on 9/11 and I think the Jets are have a nice come from behind win. Late FG wins it, but gimme those points and the Cowboys.

Dallas plus the points in a 23-26 loss.

New England (+7) over Miami

Tom Brady vs. Chad Henne....

New England covers, 38-24.

To Win or Not to Win,

Is That Really the Question?

Just leave it to belligerently idiotic people on sports radio to question whether a professional sports team should throw some games to get a better draft spot. This all spawned from the Rockets doing what every Houston sports team seems to do every year which is make a late season run to keep all of us fans on the edge of our seats only to let us down in the end. And from the sound of these know nothing idiots on the radio, the majority of Rockets fans in Houston would rather have the Rockets lose instead of trying to make the playoffs. At no point ever is it OK for a professional sports team to throw games, even if there is a once in a lifetime prospect that is going to be in the draft. The reason being that once it is done (even once), the integrity of the game itself is gone and in the end, if the game's integrity is gone, then the game is meaningless. All sports are based on the premise that at their very core, before anything begins, every team is on a level playing field and that every team will do whatever it can to win the game fairly and by the rules of the game.

So all you people who keep saying that the Rockets as they are built now cannot win a championship, you have no idea what will happen if the make the playoffs. I am not going to bore you trying to break down a Rockets vs. Lakers 7-game series, but just remember that the Rockets have already won a championship as a 6 seed in the '94-'95 season. Anything can happen at any time and that is what sport great.

So to anyone else who tells me the Rockets need to lose out to increase to draft position, I swear I will rip them through a hell-portal into a place where the Benny Hill theme song, “Yakety Sax” plays nonstop and the only thing on TV are reruns of Project Runway.

Cardinal Sin? Yes, Really.

Really? REALLY????? RE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HEALLY?????? Yes.....really. If you know me, you know that I am tired of people that give you that inquisitorial/sarcastic, “really?” all the time. I hate that. Someone needs to put a stop to that, save for situations that actually demand it. This Albert Pujols situation demands it.

Albert Pujols' contract ends following the 2011 baseball season. He will become a free agent unless the St. Louis Cardinals renegotiate his contract with him. Now given the absurdity of major league contracts these days and the lack of a salary cap, there are some contracts out there that are skewing everything up at a crazy rate. Albert Pujols is the best player in the game and with lesser players like Alex Rodriguez and Jayson Werth making more than him, the correct move is to give Albert a contract that exceeds the 27.5 million that A-Rod makes a year. And given what Pujols has done, is doing and could potentially do, he very much deserves to get paid in this broken system.

Contract talks broke down this week and reportedly Albert does not want to discuss his contract during the season which begins in a month. Which means that with no contract agreed upon, Pujols will become a free agent at season's end. Contract talks broke down because Pujols did not like the salary number per year. St. Louis I will put it to you like this, if you do not want to pay Albert Pujols 30 million a year, someone else will. No question.

St. Louis, how would you let this happen? This is a once an era player. Albert Pujols is by a wide margin the best player in the MLB. If you googled “Hank Aaron's daddy”, pictures of Albert Pujols would come up. And in 7 or 8 years from now, Albert is going to be approaching Henry Aaron and Barry Bonds' all-time home run record. He currently sits at 408 home runs and the revenue alone of the world following him chase the record would be worth the 300 million for which Pujols is asking. So St. Louis, given the state of baseball and how you have one of the elite teams in the league and the potential your team has I gotta ask,

Really?

How the Worst Team in the NBA Will Decide the MVP

Recently there has been an NBA fan base that has been very quiet after being the most loud and obnoxious over the summer. I speak of course about the Cleveland Cavaliers and their fans in particular. When LeBron James signed with the Miami Heat, Cleveland fans went crazy like James was supposed to resign with Cleveland like he owed them something. And now it is kind of funny to see how Cleveland's attitude has changed over the season. Currently the Cavs are in the midst of a 25 game losing streak, the longest ever in the NBA. It is like the 5 stages of grief with Cleveland and now they are somewhere in between bargaining and depression. As it stands right now through 52 regular season games, the Cleveland Cavaliers are 8-44. Last year through 52 games the Cavs had the best record in the league at 41-11. And this is largely with the same team they had last year minus LeBron James of course. The Cavs are also down Delonte West and Shaq from last year but their effect would be negligible even if they were still on the team.

Now do not get me wrong, I am not wishing this fate upon the Cavs players. I would never wish that on anyone. I know how losing like that feels bowling for Texas A&M University. I realize most of you people cannot relate to bowling collegiately but just let me tell you, we were the Cleveland Cavaliers of collegiate bowling. But, this situation in Cleveland is interesting to me because I think that team has a major effect on the NBA's MVP voting. With no one really running away with the MVP, most voters will look to how the reigning MVP is doing and if he is doing anything to lose that MVP status. Last year James averaged 29 points, 8 assists and 7 rebounds per game when he won the MVP. Through 50 games this year he is averaging 26 points, 7 assists and 7 rebounds, numbers comparable to his 2009-2010 MVP season. I realize that Derrick Rose is having a great year, Kevin Love is a double-double waiting to happen and some idiots are even saying that Blake Griffin might make a run at MVP, but none of those guys are doing anything to supplant King James from the top of the MVP standings. And when the voting is close at the end of the year like it is going to be, I think the ineptitude of LeBron's former team is going to put him over the top. The Cavaliers went from being the best team in the league to being one of the historically bad teams in NBA history and the one different thing is LeBron James. I cannot remember when there was such a disparity in a team when a single player was there and then left.

I always tell people that I wish that I paid more attention to the NBA when Michael Jordan was in the league because it is hard for me to imagine someone being better than Kobe Bryant. And now LeBron James is here and he is doing what he is doing and he still has several years left in his prime. All I am saying is pay attention now because guys like him do not come around often. Michael Jordan might have been the best player ever, but I think LeBron James is might the most valuable player ever.......thanks to the Cleveland Cavaliers. Out.

Bet Your Haus Winners: Super Bowl Edition

Well we are 15-20 on our picks this year. I guess that is what you get for taking both underdogs in the championship games. Ahh me. Anyway now is not the time to get down. You try betting ATS and we will see what happens. Stop yelling at me!!!!! Whatever. The Super Bowl is this week and in my opinion, picking this game right will put me back at .500. I was hoping the line would move from 2½ and force my pick, but alas it has not. And if you anything about lines, 2½ is really bunk.  I know I said that I hate the Super Bowl because it means football is over but it is the biggest game of the year and I really believe that this year the best two teams in the NFL are playing in the game. Confidence is low but here it is.

Green Bay (-2½) over Pittsburgh. Like I said I was hoping the line would move. Anything over three and I would have taken the Steelers but it is stuck at 2½. And given how the last 10 Super Bowls have gone, I am not surprised. I expect a very close game with more offense than you might think. I do want want to get all football geek on you...oh wait...yes I do. Everyone is looking at what happened the last time the Packers and Steelers played which was a 37-36 shootout that the Steelers won in the final play. In that game, Aaron Rodgers threw the ball almost the whole game. (48-12 passing attempts to rushing attempts) The Steelers run defense is so stout that the Packers decided to not even try it. And it worked. The Pack effectively took Troy Polamalu out of the game by spreading the field with several wide receivers forcing him into coverage as opposed to doing whatever he wants and causing havoc all over the field. And I believe this same thing is going to happen again in this game. The difference is going to be the Packers defense. The way I see it going is like this: the Steelers are going to get the ball back down late and the Packers defense is going to win this game, just like they have all throughout the playoffs with late picks against the Eagles and the Bears and a defensive score against the Falcons. I respect Big Ben greatly, but this is Aaron Rodgers' coming out party.

Take the Packers and lay the points, Green Bay 29-26. Count it. Bet it. Out.

 

Why the Super Bowl is the Best and Worst Thing About the NFL.

Hey people who think the Super Bowl is awesome, shut your freaking mouths or I will find you and I will destroy you. Yes it is the biggest game of the year. And yes it is going to complete yet another great year of professional football. All the lights and the glamor and the commercials and the celebrities and the Hall of Famers and legends of the game are there on top of the two best teams in a game to decide who is champion based on 17 regular season games and two or three playoff games, depending on their regular season record. And at the end of the game either the Pittsburgh Steelers or the Green Bay will be the Super Bowl champions, leaving no questions on who the best team in the NFL is....except for the 2007 Super Bowl in which I am still convinced the entire country saw the game wrong and the Patriots actually completed their perfect season.....it happened, trust me.....I am sure our universe skewed into a different universe and back, changing our view of the actual outcome. I digress, sorry. Whether it be the Packers or the Steelers, I am sure the game is going to be very close and very competitive, which has been the trend over the last decade or so. And yet with all this being said, the Super Bowl makes me more sad and depressed than anything does all year. Do you want to know why??? Keep chirping little birdies because here it comes.

I want you people to ask yourselves what happens once the Super Bowl is over. Where you might feel glad that a champion has been crowned or happy that you saw a great game, I realize that there is seven months until I get to see football again. Seven excruciating months of 162 baseball games, March Madness and the NBA Championship which are all good, but let us be honest people, none of that can take the place of the NFL. The Super Bowl marks the end of the season and even saying that makes me get a little nauseated. What am I going to do with myself? Get a job? Child please. Just look what happened to my number of entries during the Bye week between the Championship games and Super Bowl. My site turned into a ghost town. (BTW, the Bye week before the Super Bowl is one of the stupidest things ever, but that is an argument for a different time.)

So is it wrong for me to want football year 'round? Maybe some of the players would be seriously injured. Does that make me a bad person? Maybe, but I am alright with that because I LOVE FOOTBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So no one try to contact me the week after the Super Bowl because I will be under a rock in some corner of the world in the deepest, darkest depression. Given what actually happens in the Super Bowl, it might be simultaneously the best and worst thing to happen to me each and every year. And yet I always come back....damn you football...

Bet Your Haus Winners!

Championship Edition

Well after a 2-2 week thanks to Drew taking the Shehawks to cover for me, he has been banished henceforth from the bet your Haus winners. We are 15-18 on the year and this championship weekend I am giving you two dawgs on which to bet your Haus. I know you think I am crazy, but that is just how Haus rolls. Count it!!!

Chicago (+3½ ) hosting Green Bay. Home underdogs are the scariest thing in the NFL. It is going to be very cold and very crappy on that field in Chicago and both offenses are going to suffer regardless of how well they are both playing. Both defenses are stout which is just going to keep this game close and the way I see it, down to the last drive. The Bears have been getting no respect all year and they are the real deal......and saying that, they are still going to lose.

Take the Bears plus the points to cover and lose, 26-23.

New York Jets (+3½ ) at Pittsburgh. Now the Jets are a team that I have not bought into all year. And yet they keep beating Hall of Fame Quarterbacks....say it aint so Tom....say it aint so. You can only go into someone's house and beat them a certain number of times and now it stops. Now the Jets can D up so I expect this game to be close but this is Big Ben and this is the Steelers defense and this is the end of the road for the Jets. This game is going to come down to Ben Roethlisberger getting the ball late and winning it close.

Jets cover but lose, 19-17.

Texas:  A Basketball State???

Disclaimer: This article is going to warn all Texans of the new trend sweeping the state. This trend will scare most of you conservatives, but here me out and Ye Shalt Be Saved.

Believe it or not people, but college basketball is not just isolated to Durham, North Carolina and New York, New York. There are schools in this very state that have basketball teams. Yeah I know. Crazy. And here is the thing, these schools have good teams. In fact, Texas A&M University and the University of Texas have been good for pretty much the last decade. UT has been good ever since Rick Barnes took over the team in 1998, and A&M has been relevant since they went 0-16 in conference play in the 2003-2004 season, having made the NCAA Tournament every year since then and winning at least one game in the tournament every year they have qualified. Both schools have put players in the NBA also, most notably Kevin Durant, T.J. Ford and DeAndre Jordan. Both schools have also made deep runs in the last decade with UT making the Final Four in 2003 and A&M making the Sweet Sixteen in 2006.

I am willing to bet that almost no people that live in Texas actually knew that us Texans had two viable college basketball teams. And given how awesome the fans are here in Texas, it is a shame that no one notices these teams because if people actually paid attention to these teams, I really think that the fans in Texas could turn these teams into successful basketball programs like Duke, North Carolina and Michigan State, universities that have an extremely devoted national following. Just because Texas is known as being a football state does not mean that it cannot be a basketball state also. I really feel that there is a niche here in Texas for some great basketball teams and rivalries, all we have to do is turn on the TV.

I will put it to you guys like this: I am fairly stupid (which actually makes me question why you people read this but that is an argument for another day), but I am not so stupid to not realize that Texas is now and will always be a football state. But if we do not start following these basketball teams with a passion, these two coaches and by extension, these teams, will not be around long. This is less likely for Rick Barnes at UT, but for Mark Turgeon, head basketball coach at A&M, when some other big basketball school comes calling, he is going to have no choice but to leave if attendance and ratings and money do not increase. And then we will slip back into the mediocre state that Texas college basketball was in before these teams started winning. Call me crazy, but I like having something exciting to watch between the Super Bowl and the start of the baseball season.

Also I know that UT smoked A&M last night 81-60. Both teams are in the top 11 in the country and it looks like they will be there for the rest of the year. UT was probably just upset about the beat down A&M put on the Horns in football last year.....who knows....Haus out.

Bet Your Haus Winners

Divisional Round

I want to again apologize to the people that might have bet on the Saints last week. Who could have seen that coming? Like Carl said today, “only Matt Hasselbeck's mother thought the Seahawks were going to win.” So we went 1-3 last week thanks to the Packers. We are 13-16 on the year and again feeling really good about this weeks winners.

Pittsburgh (-3) hosting Baltimore. Game of the weekend? Yes please. Be careful while watching this game because your head might get knocked off by just witnessing it. This is just a home-field thing for me. Also the Steelers got the week off to get healthy and Troy Polamolecule is going to play which means he is going to terrorize Joe Flacco. Baltimore is playing on a short week and traveling all over which is never good.

Lay the points and bring your chin straps, 20-16 Steelers.

Green Bay (+1½) at Atlanta. Everybody is talking about how the Packers found a running game but that is not going to be the reason they win this game. This Aaron Rodgers' game. He is going to carry the Pack over the Falcons. The only reason that the Packers lost this year against the Falcons was because of some crazy fumble in the end zone that will not happen again. This game is going to be Aaron Rodgers' coming out party.

Packers win outright, 26-20.

Seattle (+10) at Chicago. This is Drew's pick. I am giving him a second chance after that atrocity two weeks ago when he picked the Browns over the Steelers and lost 41-6. Go Drew.

Drew says Seahawks win outright, 24-20.

New England (-8½) hosting the New York Jets. This is easy. The Jets talk too much crap. Tom Brady don't play that. This is your Bet Your Haus pick this week.

Take the Fightin' Bradys minus the points, 33-20.

Changing of the Guard:

The New “Faces” of the NFL

There is something changing in the NFL right now. It is the same thing that happened in the late 1990s when several elite quarterbacks retired all around the same time. Guys like Marino, Elway, Young, Kelly and Moon. The faces of the league were changing then. In the late 90s and early 2000s, some young, new QBs became the faces of the NFL and have carried the NFL for the last decade. Manning, Brady, Favre, Palmer, McNabb and Brees among others. And the same thing that happened a decade ago, is happening again. Those guys that took us through the 2000s are starting to fade, save for Tom Brady because he is just the freaking man who will probably play for the next 25 years.

With Peyton Manning and Drew Brees eliminated from the playoffs this last weekend, you are going to be seeing QBs with which you might not be too familiar. (Matt Hasselbeck notwithstanding. I am still sorry if anyone bet their house on that game....unbelievable.) And are these younger guys better than some of the older ones? Well I think the fact that they are still playing and the other ones are not makes my point, but the guys we are used to seeing every Sunday are going to start yielding to some different personalities and some different faces. Guys like Aaron Rodgers, Joe Flacco, Matt Ryan and Mark Sanchez. In fact, of all the teams left in the playoffs, the next generation quarterbacks play for six of the eight teams. (Roethlisberger, Cutler, Rodgers, Flacco, Ryan and Sanchez) These are the names we are going to have to get used to hearing for the next eight to ten years and frankly I am excited for it.

These young guns (apologies for using that phrase....reap the whirlwind...) are fresh, new, charismatic and above all, they are really good. Some are a little more proven than others and they are all a little different than one another, but they are fun to watch and the next ten years might have some of the best QB play that there has ever been. The next ten years are going to contain the end of legendary careers like Peyton Manning's, Drew Brees' and Tom Brady's.  And we are going to see the emergence and the prime of the careers of the new class of quarterback. So for you football strategy nerds like myself, get ready for awesomeness.

So to all you people who dwell on what you have seen and not what you might see, try to be open-minded when people like myself say that I would rather have Aaron Rodgers right now over Peyton Manning. Or when someone says Matt Ryan is the best QB in the NFC South, do not blow them out of the water...because they are correct. There is a changing of the guard in the NFL. It is OK. Do not freak out. Let it happen. All this has happened before and will happen again, to quote some hybrid from Battlestar Galactica.  And do you know what happens every time it does change??? The NFL gets better for you and me. Enjoy.

Bet Your Haus Winners

Wild Card Playoffs

Sorry about the lack of articles this week people. Your boy Haus has been sick in bed all week. But no matter how sick I am, I will always have winners for you. We finished up the regular season 12-13. Not awful. And I feel good about these playoff picks for no other reason than it cannot get any worse.

New Orleans (-10) at Seattle. This is my “bet your Haus” pick of the wild card weekend. I cannot believe this line is only ten. The Seahawks were 7-9 in the regular season. Just awful.

I like the Saints big, 38-13.

Indianapolis (-3) hosting the New York Jets. Rex Ryan is again writing checks with his mouth that I do not think his team can cash. I do not care who is playing wide receiver for the Colts, you do not talk trash about Peyton Manning. Every time Peyton has gone against a Rex Ryan defense, he has won. Save for the game last year when Manning was taken out of the game when the Colts were 14-0.

Take Peyton Manning and lay the points, 30-20 Colts win.

Kansas City (-3) hosting Baltimore. Personally I am not betting on this game. Given the nature of both of these teams, I am expecting a three point win for the Chiefs. The Chiefs play great at home and they were embarrassed last week and are going to be fired up. I have questioned the Ravens all season and I think this is their end.

This is a 20-17 game if there ever was one. Push all day.

Green Bay (+3) at Philadelphia. This might be surprising to so people but I like the Packers big in this game. Green Bay's defense is playing out of their mind right now. Teams have begun to figure out Michael Vick and he has been beat up as the season has gone along. Aaron Rodgers' experience last year in the playoffs is going to pay off big I believe and I think he has a huge game. The Eagles defense has been suspect all year and Aaron Rodgers is going to exploit that all day.

Take Green Bay plus the points, 34-24.

The Houston Texans and the Dichotomous Endeavor

So a friend asked me to describe the Texans year in one word after the Week 17 win over Jacksonville and I could not think of one. Of course if I had several words it would be easy. Just look at some of my previous articles and I think they can somewhat describe how the year was progressing for the Texans. But to put the season into one word is very difficult. I realize it is hard to describe a lot of teams in one word, but it would be pretty easy for most of the playoff teams. 

Like:

The Steelers = Tough.  That defense is bruising. 

The Saints = Driven.  Drew Brees will never let his team rest despite them winning the super bowl last year. 

The Patriots = Brady.  Nuff said.

The Seahawks = …..unfreakingbelievable sounds good for them.

Among others.

But for the life of me, I could not think of one word to sum up the Texans' season. I think the reason is because the season was this huge opposite clashing dichotomy that kind of had a Jekyll and Hyde quality that makes the season hard to explain.

Starting at the beginning with the win over the Colts where the Texans smoked the Colts 34-24 by rushing for over 230 yards and then beating the Redskins in Week 2 after overcoming a huge deficit and winning in overtime. They then proceeded to get to 4-2 going into their bye week and felt pretty good......until they went 2-8 to finish the season, completely one of the most dichotomous seasons that I can remember in recent history. In the first half of the season, the Texans were one of the best teams in the league while in the second half they were arguably the very worst.

The Texans offense compared to their defense is THE DEFINITION of dichotomy. The Texans were ranked 3^rd in total offense while being 30^th in total defense. Matt Schaub is 5^th in the league in passing and Arian Foster and Andre Johnson lead the league in rushing and receiving yards per game, respectively while the defense came about 250 yards from setting an NFL record in passing yards given up in one season. And to add insult to injury, they won their last game probably saving Gary Kubiak's job and moved themselves up at least three draft spots and out of the top 10 draft picks.....great.

In almost every game this year, the offensive and defensive dichotomy reared it's beautifully ugly head, which is leading me to a word I think does describe the Texans. No the word is not disappointing or sad. I wanted to say laughable or hellarious (which is a word I created to define the show “It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia), but those just do not fit.  The word is nothing funny or epic or philosophical, it is just a word that I heard a bunch in my Biology and Ecology classes I took in school and a word I mentioned several times looking back at the article; Dichotomy.

2010 Houston Texans, thy name be dichotomy. I would also like to ask you, my awesome readers and subscribers, how would you describe the 2010 Houston Texans in one word. I would be interested to see your words and if you can come up with anything witty or clever. Haus out.